Moving on...

Dignity in death as much as in life is perhaps what we all want. How do we ensure that we die as well as we lived? Coming to terms with one's own mortality becomes easier when you see death up close everyday as a physician. We all know that as we come so must we go. What makes us fearful about death is perhaps not knowing what lies beyond but isn't that true for life as well? Do we really know what's going to happen next? You can plan and plan to be prepared for surprises.
When I see loving family members from generation one to four paying their little old grandma a visit, holding her hand and kissing her good bye; I know that even in her coma she's not that scared anymore of the inevitable and yet unknown. When they decide to make her comfortable and let us know that it was what she wanted and that she had a long and fulfilling life, I know that grandma is feeling proud of her legacy to the world; children she raised well; children who have loved her well and ensured that she passes on as effortlessly as she brought them into this world; holding her hand just as she held theirs and taught them how to walk and move on. Life comes around in a full circle. A warmth from the tears I am holding back and the ones they are shedding fills the room. We're thankful to grandma for making it easy for them; for making it is easy for us as her doctors...she must've been a brave woman to decide what she wanted her death to be like; she made her choice so we just followed. And then I can't help but wonder, how do I want to die? I get paged and the thought vanishes from my head; guess it's another thought for another day but sooner or later I'll have to decide; if I want it my way!